Memoirs of an Icy Incarnation

The past few posts have been more serious and was merely an outlet to release some less desired emotions. They were pretty down so in an attempt to bring my mood back up I thought I would delve more into those things that always seem to piss me off. Also, the Biblical Prophecy blog is not at all forgotten and it will be completed soon. I cannot promise when, however I can promise that it will be nothing short of epic...epic failure.

That shit being shat, I decided to project my recent frustration...ice in beverages. I recently found myself sitting in a Denny's and ordered a cranberry juice to come with my french toast-ass-slam and was utterly appalled to discover that it was full of ice. Well who in the fuck drinks cranberry juice with ice unless it is accompanied by vodka? As bad as that sounds, that's not quite the assraping that I had in mind. I got a root beer somewhere and it had ice in it too. Of course, I usually order all my drinks without ice but I never thought I had to do so with root beer. Perhaps that is because NOBODY PUTS FUCKING ICE IN ROOT BEER. Come to think of it, the place was Wendy's and obviously that little redheaded whore couldn't get it right.

Again I always order the drinks without ice but why should I have to do that? Not everyone enjoys ice and although isn't all that difficult sometimes I forget or the goddamn employee puts it in anyway. Then when you point out their error to them, they look at you like you're the ass dribbling moron and then you have to look twice just to make sure they don't spit or spooge in your drink. What's the fucking point anyway? Soda comes out of the fountain cold already so adding more ice just makes all the more colder and also waters it down faster. Yeah, I really want to spend three dollars on a cup of coke flavored McWater. Besides the fact that with my teeth I cannot consume too hot or cold items. Now that only affects me personally but why should those who don't wish to have ice suffer from this unjust system? We may be a small population (the larger consisting mostly of those who just don't give a shit) but why not make those ice assholes be the ones to ask for ice. It would interesting to see how they react to receiving their desired beverage without their precious ice and have to maneuver the straw around a glob of semen deposited by a disgruntled funployee.

Who in the holy fuck was even the one who decided that ice was mandatory for all drinks? I can just imagine the circumstances of some cocksmokin scientist sitting in his lab drinking a Dr. Pepper and saying, Shit this is good but it would be better with clumps of frozen water in it! Where do we as a society draw the line of inserting those fucking ice cubes into our most beloved beverages. Then again we could always throw some ice into beer or hell why not stick ice into a cup of coffee...'what do you mean there's no ice, you mean I have to drink this coffee hot'. But wait a minute, there already is iced-motherfucking-coffee. Ice is taking over the world and I dare you to come up with one drink that doesn't have some sort of deformed icy mutation.
In fact, why not just incorporate the fucking things into every liquid? When you get a piss test, toss a few cubes in the cup. Or, when you have the shits make sure to shove some ice up your rectum because god-fucking-forbid that it comes out warm.

Ice is taking over the world in a murderous rampage. Every year there are numerous ice related fatalities albeit a car accident or slipping and breaking your face. Yet people just cannot seem to get enough of it. Maybe I'm taking this a bit too far but you just have to know where to stop.

Be That As It May, These Are Merely Memoirs of a Work in Progress...

Memoirs of the Light at the End of the Tunnel

My mind is racing and my throat hurts like I just swallowed a bucket of rusty nails. I have a shitload of assignments and studying to finish but I just cannot seem to get the courage to do so. I really don't even know what to say other than I just wish that it would all stop. Imagine an emotion that combines rage, sadness and indifference...it feels like you're on a fucking merry-go-round. Now add to that a constant fear or foreboding, if you will, and add elements of incredible and pathetic loneliness. Then after you have mixed all the ingredients to this shit flavored recipe for self-hatred, you feel as if the only way out is through the bottom of a whiskey stained shot glass. Of course, knowing fully well that you have once gone down this path and it is grim, but what other options do you have? The temptation is so severe sometimes that you just cannot stand it, just one sip to dull the pain. You look in the mirror and cannot seem recognize yourself in the reflection. So you try to fake it and even though it hurts like hell, it is easy to succeed. You slap a half-witted smile onto that grotesque mug and sigh as you tell yourself that everything will eventually work itself out, however there is only so much optimism left. You can feel it growing inside you like some sort of cancer, eating away at every last fiber inside that still qualifies you as human. You try to look away and in some cases you may be able to move onward but just when you think that it's all in the past, it comes back just to slap you in the fucking face.

Who the fuck do you think you are? Nothing will ever change because you just aren't good enough. You may have the brains but you lack in everything else. So you attempt to forget and move forward even though you know the result will not be in your favor. At one point, you may even actually believe that you have a chance to change the result but unfortunately such is not the case. Again, who the fuck do you think you are?

Your dreams are in fact horrific and vivid nightmares carved out of your own sad reality. You lie to yourself as you think that your day will come and all this will be a distant memory as you rest in real and uninhibited happiness. But that's just it, it is merely a lie designed to motivate yourself to wake up each day. However, for the time being, that is all you have...that and the hope that there is still a light at the end of the tunnel.

Be That As It May, These Are Merely Memoirs of a Work in Progress...

Memoirs of a Bitter Relationship

I rarely watch television because most of everything on now is complete and utter shit. I could probably count on both hands the number of shows that I regularly watch. Those might consist of the Simpsons, South Park, Lost, Dexter, The Colbert Report, or most importantly The Office. I have been watching that show since the pilot and must admit that is my only guilty pleasure. I often find myself cheering on Jim and Pam. I find it best to try and contain my emotions and excitement. I speak in a monotone voice that is barely above a whisper and only do so when I feel my input to be appropriate. I have often been referred to as "shy", but I disagree because I have been in situations where people will not shut the fuck up and continue to run their mouth about stupid shit. Therefore I do not speak unless I feel like I must and it is absolutely necessary.

Getting back to the office, tonight's episode really got to think and even caused me to experience some of those emotions that I so often repress. The characters Jim and Pam are finally engaged after three seasons of built up sexual tension and so he bought her his parent's old house. The whole episode anticipated that she would hate the house but at the end she actually loved it. A simple plot but it got me to think.

I have dabbled in several relationships and obviously due to my single status, none of them were the "one". Not only that but looking back there were no indications that would even be close. That being said, tonight I asked myself when will I find my Pam? Now of course I am speaking metaphorically, unless Jenna Fischer is interested, but I would seriously love to find that one to love. Someone who can appreciate me and not be incessantly obsessed with the badboy or their psychotic exboyfriend.

Now there are millions of people in this world who are thinking the exact same thing right now so what makes me so different? Well absolutely nothing but only that I am tired of being alone. Not alone in the sense of solitude but in the aspect that I have never really felt connected with anyone. Even when I was dating, they were merely a sexual outlet and never really felt close to any of them. I'm sure that sounds horrible especially if any of those girls happen to be reading this but it is true...oh and if you are on of them reading this, then fuck you!
I suppose I should point out that I was not one who ended any of those relationships and they in fact dumped me. Every one of them was as a result of some other douche bag. What a bummer.

Of course, I am not by any means looking to marry and turn into Ward-fucking-Cleaver, but it would be nice to be with someone who I can finally relate with. I want the long walks, ketchup fights, and Monday night dinner at Applebee's... I want a real and honest relationship. Not just the fuck-grunt-thanks a bunch, because I've already had enough of that and quite frankly it got boring. Is that wrong or make me less a man? As a male, I feel as though not wanting to insert my cock into everything that moves makes me less masculine. Isn't romance, hearts and flowers more of a chick thing? Maybe that's why I could never stay in a relationship because I cared too much and those other dickfaces didn't. I have so much to give and yet no one to give it to. Perhaps I should resort to become just another asshole only to treat her like shit. That would be nice in theory only I don't think that I could bring myself to that level. So I suppose that one day I will meet that special someone and until then I will be idly waiting...wondering when will I find my Pam.

Be That As It May, These Are Merely Memoirs of a Work in Progress...

Memoirs of a Biblical Prophecy

Coming Soon...