Memoirs of an Icy Incarnation

The past few posts have been more serious and was merely an outlet to release some less desired emotions. They were pretty down so in an attempt to bring my mood back up I thought I would delve more into those things that always seem to piss me off. Also, the Biblical Prophecy blog is not at all forgotten and it will be completed soon. I cannot promise when, however I can promise that it will be nothing short of epic...epic failure.

That shit being shat, I decided to project my recent frustration...ice in beverages. I recently found myself sitting in a Denny's and ordered a cranberry juice to come with my french toast-ass-slam and was utterly appalled to discover that it was full of ice. Well who in the fuck drinks cranberry juice with ice unless it is accompanied by vodka? As bad as that sounds, that's not quite the assraping that I had in mind. I got a root beer somewhere and it had ice in it too. Of course, I usually order all my drinks without ice but I never thought I had to do so with root beer. Perhaps that is because NOBODY PUTS FUCKING ICE IN ROOT BEER. Come to think of it, the place was Wendy's and obviously that little redheaded whore couldn't get it right.

Again I always order the drinks without ice but why should I have to do that? Not everyone enjoys ice and although isn't all that difficult sometimes I forget or the goddamn employee puts it in anyway. Then when you point out their error to them, they look at you like you're the ass dribbling moron and then you have to look twice just to make sure they don't spit or spooge in your drink. What's the fucking point anyway? Soda comes out of the fountain cold already so adding more ice just makes all the more colder and also waters it down faster. Yeah, I really want to spend three dollars on a cup of coke flavored McWater. Besides the fact that with my teeth I cannot consume too hot or cold items. Now that only affects me personally but why should those who don't wish to have ice suffer from this unjust system? We may be a small population (the larger consisting mostly of those who just don't give a shit) but why not make those ice assholes be the ones to ask for ice. It would interesting to see how they react to receiving their desired beverage without their precious ice and have to maneuver the straw around a glob of semen deposited by a disgruntled funployee.

Who in the holy fuck was even the one who decided that ice was mandatory for all drinks? I can just imagine the circumstances of some cocksmokin scientist sitting in his lab drinking a Dr. Pepper and saying, Shit this is good but it would be better with clumps of frozen water in it! Where do we as a society draw the line of inserting those fucking ice cubes into our most beloved beverages. Then again we could always throw some ice into beer or hell why not stick ice into a cup of coffee...'what do you mean there's no ice, you mean I have to drink this coffee hot'. But wait a minute, there already is iced-motherfucking-coffee. Ice is taking over the world and I dare you to come up with one drink that doesn't have some sort of deformed icy mutation.
In fact, why not just incorporate the fucking things into every liquid? When you get a piss test, toss a few cubes in the cup. Or, when you have the shits make sure to shove some ice up your rectum because god-fucking-forbid that it comes out warm.

Ice is taking over the world in a murderous rampage. Every year there are numerous ice related fatalities albeit a car accident or slipping and breaking your face. Yet people just cannot seem to get enough of it. Maybe I'm taking this a bit too far but you just have to know where to stop.

Be That As It May, These Are Merely Memoirs of a Work in Progress...